Christian Grey Is Not Abusive

Do I really have to talk about this?

Really!?

Nah, really!?11535857_367296500142203_5253304150363040586_n

I am a firm believer of keeping my opinions to myself, especially in the workplace.  Three things you do not talk about:  Fight Club, Politics and Religion.  However, I can’t hold my tongue any longer:  Fifty Shades of Grey is not abuse and it does not glorify domestic abuse.

Ana is completely in control in the relationship. She may be innocent, but she is not afraid.  Secondly, Ana knows she can leave the relationship at any time.  So let’s pick apart some comparisons.

Concern: Christian stalks Ana and shows up at her place of work, the bar she’s at with her friends, at her house, and on her vacation.

Truth. He’s obsessed with her movements, but it’s out of a misplaced concern for her safety. FYI -Ana’s friend lets Christian into the house when she doesn’t answer his calls. He does not break and enter. And he shows up in Atlanta out of fear of losing her.

Concern: Anastasia is violently deflowered with no foreplay.

False. She asks him to make love to her. She almost has an orgasm the minute he touches her. They both go gently into that good night.

Concern: Christian Grey strong-arms Anastasia. He’s threatening and controlling and wants to be the one in charge. He buys her expensive gifts and is jealous.

Truth with a caveat.  OMG, have you read a romance novel?  That’s the standard motifs or clichés in romance and erotic fiction.  You don’t have to like it, and you don’t have to agree with it. But there are many women who fantasize about being involved with an alpha male. Whether or not it’s a concept that appeals to you, it’s common.

Concern: Christian is narcissistic and damaged and Anastasia can fix him with her love.

Truth.  Another standard arc in romance and erotic fiction.   Just pick up a book to read. Don’t judge someone imagination if you don’t like it. We prefer you just write your own!

We love our handsome mega-billionaire Grey. We love how his love of Anastasia Steel trumps his troubled past and emotional baggage.   And we will continue to defend Christian Grey.  In addition, we must remember we are talking about fictional characters derived from someone’s imagination.  If the movie had been made with English subtitles; featured at the Cannes Film Festival, we would be calling it “art” instead of “abuse.”

Join in the continuous debate.  We have another 18 months to go before Darker is released.

Snippets of this article was original published on Huffington Post.

 



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